It was a really good-looking dump.
Above is a status message that appeared on my facebook news feed. Here’s the story behind it:
Andy knew his son had the gift. He had been to the websites before, in the middle of the night. Those sites where Japanese businessmen would bid on the fresh excrement of the young. Thirty bucks, fifty bucks, sometimes even a hundred bucks depending on the color and texture. Andy could really use that extra cash. Maybe take Stacey out for the night. Maybe Bennigan’s and a movie. She didn’t need to know where the cash came from; she wouldn’t understand. Maybe she’d just smile like she used to.
He picked his toddler up off the toilet seat. It wasn’t very big and it wasn’t perfect. But it was something. It would definitely get some bids. “That’s at least worth forty bucks,” Andy said to himself. The toddler squirmed in Andy’s grasp so Andy set him down on the bathroom tile. He turned his attention to the drawer beneath the sink where he secretly kept the roll of wax paper and yellow rubber glove. He tore off a square and fit the glove on his right hand. He turned around to find his son reaching for the beaming silver lever on the side of the toilet tank. Andy lunged to knock the boy’s hand away but it was too late. A measured rush of water broke the small but pretty dump into unmanageable pieces and sucked it down.
The toddler giggled and Andy sighed. There it was, forty bucks down the toilet.
